It's good that you are spending some time reading up on the ideas that underpin the films that you are watching, but just be careful that you don't end up presenting the ideas as a series of notes, rather than incorporating them into your discussion.
On an English language note - you are using 'with' for some instances when you should be using 'which' - here for example,
'Using the help of his old colleague Rotwang to create a robot Maria with would stop the uprising...'
and
'One day he spots a beautiful women and a group of children, with disappear just quickly as they had appeared'
Okay - so you've got the ideas in here, but not the structure. As Jackie says, your 'review' becomes a collection of information and ideas - and not a well-structured argument. What you need to do is make a plan before you write; what point are you trying to make, and how can you best make it - and what is the best way to order your ideas for someone else, so they can follow your thinking too. What with all the resources in the library, I'd avoid where possible using sources for which you can find no author - having a named author is preferable, because it means the source has more credibility.
So - the ideas and connections are all good here - but you do need to think about ordering your ideas via a structure that gives your analysis away to your reader in a way that seems logical, and develops from point to point comfortably.
Hi Casper,
ReplyDeleteIt's good that you are spending some time reading up on the ideas that underpin the films that you are watching, but just be careful that you don't end up presenting the ideas as a series of notes, rather than incorporating them into your discussion.
On an English language note - you are using 'with' for some instances when you should be using 'which' - here for example,
'Using the help of his old colleague Rotwang to create a robot Maria with would stop the uprising...'
and
'One day he spots a beautiful women and a group of children, with disappear just quickly as they had appeared'
Okay - so you've got the ideas in here, but not the structure. As Jackie says, your 'review' becomes a collection of information and ideas - and not a well-structured argument. What you need to do is make a plan before you write; what point are you trying to make, and how can you best make it - and what is the best way to order your ideas for someone else, so they can follow your thinking too. What with all the resources in the library, I'd avoid where possible using sources for which you can find no author - having a named author is preferable, because it means the source has more credibility.
ReplyDeleteSo - the ideas and connections are all good here - but you do need to think about ordering your ideas via a structure that gives your analysis away to your reader in a way that seems logical, and develops from point to point comfortably.